SCREW DESPAIR!

Dear Cruel World,

Enough of this depression shit.

this is WAR!

Nature wants me dead,
but I will fight it
and love it unconditionally
because it keeps alive all that I love
even while trying to kill me.

Bring it on, I say!
I have been fighting and winning for 43 years
and I will go on for another 43.
DAMN YOU, LIFE!
YOU WILL NOT BREAK ME!

I have a mind that works wonderfully
and enough high-quality pharmaceuticals
to keep me going indefinitely,
and I can still breathe, albeit badly.

My wife and son love me
and need me in spite of my cost
and I can still make a difference.
I have words, and I use them well.
As a sword, my words can cut with the best
and they can heal, console, and teach
and if my body fails, my mind can still find purpose.

and even momentary weakness and self-pity
WILL NOT END ME!

I will fight, and on my own terms, I will win.
When my ending time comes,
I will not die of hemmorage
or of asphyxia
I will die by my own hand
on my own terms
proudly and happily.

Unless, of course, I get hit by a bus,
or some other unstoppable unavoidable calamity
but that will still be a win
for I will have escaped the slow agony that nature holds in store for me
and should there be a part of me that lives after death
I will hunt down that spirit that has tormented me throughout my life
and kick it in the nuts, laughing.

If there is a supernatural entity responsible for my life
be warned:
I am NOT amused by the trials you have presented me
and I am going to kick your ass for it.

I will awake in the morning.
I will see my son off to school
and my wife off to work
and in the alone time that follows
I will stay alive
just to spite life
just to spit in it's eye
just because I am too stubborn
too willful
too nasty
too evil
too ME
to let this shit kill me.

Adversity, go fuck yourself.

I AM LIZARD, I LIVE!

[insert annoyed primal scream here]

lizard