I guess I am slowly learning to accept my diagnosis. Lately I have memories (I will not relate the substance because that will trigger the memory) that cannot be turned off. I have to see it, all of it, over again. feel what I felt, see what I saw, hear what I heard. Normal memories are fragile, can be interrupted by anything, a stubbed toe, a mosquito bite, a wandering thought, a small noise. THESE memories are a revery, unstoppable Imax relivings of experiences in minute emotional detail. Every feeling, every icky sensation, every horrifying microsecond. once it starts it goes until it is finished, and it goes until I feel every little detail of the things i thought I had forgotten years ago, thought I had boxed up, thrown out and gotten over.
it really sucks. But PTSD pretty much fits.
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