The Sacraments 1: Green Gnosis (salvia divinorum)

Under the stunted oak I waited for her
the Green Lady
clothed in the black of the mystified, the lost,
but more truly, naked and unshriven, seeking a dying moment.

Under my tongue, the bitter mint
above my head, invisible leaves,
known only for the moonlight they intercept
below my back, the green grass that saw me through my youth.

She came to me in a spirograph body
wings twined with ivy in curliqued ringlets
her fingers the thorns of roses pointed with the blood of the unworthy
the edges of her smile reaching up to the stars, her teeth, barbed spikes

I had not expected fear, but terror came with her
and tho I sought a dying moment, she showed me a dying eternity
and tho I sought to bring wisdom into the real, she tore the real from me
and I was no more, and in unbeing, I lost my fear

She made me into a mist, expanding slowly until I was all
everywhere, blown by the wind of her breath
into eddies and whorls within myself
and it was I that her wings beat, to keep her aloft

She flew in me, acrobatically spinning and turning
casting off parts of myself in colors I have never seen
I flowed across her wings, she breathed me
and I flowed through her grasslike hair

Soon, oh, too soon,
boundries encircled me and I contracted, condensed
and rained myself on the stunted oak, and dripped from it in rivulets
and froze beneath it into this mortal body, clothed in black of the still
mystified, but no longer lost.

© 2001 Lizard

hindsight beforehand

In 50 years, in attempting to describe the history of the latter half of the twentieth century, it will be distilled into:

Following World War Two, the United states was engaged in a series of mostly disastrous wars, semi-wars and military interventions. The most significant of these were the second (Vietnam) and the last (Second Gulf). In Vietnam, the United States was taught the lesson that it is impossible to control a hostile population with an army designed to fight an opposition military force. Translation: The U.S. military can kick the ass of any organized force on the planet, but they suck as cops.

By the time of the Second Gulf war, a conservative government under the incompetant leadership of George Bush, and a group of reactionary political thinkers known as neocons had forgotten this lesson, as they promoted a war that led to an occupation in which they attempted to control a hostile population with a force designed to fight an opposition military force.

This war, combined with unparalelled corruption prosecutions, caused the unravelling of the Bush administration, and is considered the major factor in bringing on the mental illness that cost Bush his presidency. The Vice-Presidential suicide that swept the Pelosi administration into power was blamed on crack cocaine, but it is generally acknowledged that the pressure of the six unacknowledged heart attacks and the complete replacement of Cheney's pulmonary system with technology purchased from the Roswell aliens could have contributed to his eventual 'crash'.

Well, okay, maybe not that last bit.

My "real name" will never appear here.

I actually agonized about that. On one hand, I am going to be posting my (very) nonconformist politics, ideology and religion where it can be read by anybody. I am an aggressive proponant of my beliefs, and those beliefs are decidedly not the norm. To post anonymously seems dangerously close to cowardice, and cannot send a strong message about the courage of my convictions.

On the other hand, I have a wife and a child. While I think my wife agrees with me on most things, she is a very different person than I, and should not feel the backlash from my opinions. This is not a casual concern, but a very specific one. My wife is a teacher of young children. If her name were associated with my political beliefs, she would certainly feel the effect, and it may impair her, and our, livelihood.

I have to decide in favor of protecting my family. Sound overly melodramatic? I thought so, too, but could not shake the thought that if I am going to be as honest as I want to be in this blog, I can't put my real name on it, not now, not in post 9-11 paronoid america.

What could I possibly believe that would cause such backlash, in the USA, where we enjoy freedom of speech? What religious beliefs could I possibly have that being associated with them would be damaging?

I am sure they will come up.

Why "half a bag of mojo"?

A Mojo, or a Mojo bag or Mojo hand is a small collection of significant items in a bag, tied with a drawstring, and worn or carried on the person of it's maker. The word comes from africa originally, and is used in the Voudoun (voodoo or hoodoo) animist religion. The Mojo itself, as a physical object, is probably of mixed african and american indian origins, given it's resemblance to the 'medicine bag' of many Native American tribes.

Mojo is also used to represent a certain essence or power, that power which comes from being "in the zone" or grooving. "Got my Mojo working". In the small, unique and wonderful mystic subculture that I call home, Mojo is a term associated with having a sexual or emotional control over another, usually willing, person.

In 1986 I had surgery to correct a hernia, and in the course of that surgery, one of my testicles was damaged, and later removed. At the time, my doctor recommended a prosthetic, and counselling for the "disfigurement". I asked what the prosthetic testicle would be made from, and since the answer was NOT brass or iron, I declined. (space-age polymer, if you must know. Plastic. Now, I ask you: is it better to have a plastic nut, or NOT to have a plastic nut?). I thought the idea of counselling for a missing testicle silly enough to actually laugh out loud. Sorry, Doc, my ego does not reside in my scrotum. Now, if you need to remove a lobe of my brain, yeah, I am gonna need some fairly heavy counselling, but this?

So, in combining most of the above, I thought the name 'half a bag of mojo' was fairly appropriate to a blog of my almost certainly irrelevant musings.