PTSD really blows

I guess I am slowly learning to accept my diagnosis. Lately I have memories (I will not relate the substance because that will trigger the memory) that cannot be turned off. I have to see it, all of it, over again. feel what I felt, see what I saw, hear what I heard. Normal memories are fragile, can be interrupted by anything, a stubbed toe, a mosquito bite, a wandering thought, a small noise. THESE memories are a revery, unstoppable Imax relivings of experiences in minute emotional detail. Every feeling, every icky sensation, every horrifying microsecond. once it starts it goes until it is finished, and it goes until I feel every little detail of the things i thought I had forgotten years ago, thought I had boxed up, thrown out and gotten over.

it really sucks. But PTSD pretty much fits.

Why isn't Dick in Jail?

Richard J Cheney admitted committing a serious felony. On T.V.

Torture is unlawful. This is fact. Causing torture is also unlawful. This is also a fact.

Waterboarding is torture. This too is a factual statement. The United States Government has tried, convicted and executed people for waterboarding, as torture. Waterboarding was called, for years, the Water Torture.

Cheney admitted instigating torture, thus, he has admitted to committing a crime.

Mr Holder? What the fuck are you waiting for?

Swallowing

Science now knows that when pregnant women orally ingest the ejaculate of the father of the child she bears, she has a SIGNIFICANTLY reduced chance of developing preeclampsia. Further research has also found that the regular ingestion of the ejaculate of her partner can help a woman become pregnant in the first place. It introduces the partners proteins into her system as a whole, and gradually acclimates her system to the presence of his proteins, so that she is far less likely to have an immune response when the fertilized egg attempts to implant, increasing the chance of successful pregnancy.

Of course, I didn't fucking KNOW THIS ten years ago, or my wife's pregnancy would have been MUCH more fun for me. (She didn't actually have preecampsia, so the effect on her would have been minimal, but trying to prevent it would have been a blast. Health first!) :-)

Pantomime Horses, I shit you not.

I download a lot of japanese porn, mostly because the idea of beauty in Japan is apparently much different than in American porn. There is very little silicon breastage, Almost no Anorexically thin chicks (who arouse in me nothing more than the desire to buy them a good date at an all-you-can-eat pancake house) and quite a bit of defiled innocence and purity, and that happens to be my thing. But I erase 9 out of 10 of the things I download, mostly because I don't read or speak Japanese, and in addition to the aesthetically pleasing aspect of Japanese porn, there is a LOT of serious weirdness. Tentacles, a penchant for VERY young looking actresses (and if I can't TELL they are over 18, I don't feel comfortable watching it or having it on my hard drive) and a rather odd costume thing. And, apparently, a real liking of sex with pantomime horses. Or, rather, very well-endowed men in HORSE COSTUMES. The first time, I laughed my ass off. It was hilarious. Around the 8th such film, I got to wondering if there was some wierd cultural thing of which I was unaware. Pantomime Horses.

Squick

I was asked to define the term "Squick".

Squick is the sound you make, and the feeling you have when, in the middle, you realize that somebody has spliced Golden Showers into your perfectly good BDSM download. Curiously, I am told it is the same thing you feel when somebody has spliced Twinkie porn into your perfectly good Golden Showers porn. Or when you realize that somebody has put Missionary Vanilla in the middle of your download of the Ozzie and Harriet Show.